Boularderie Island Lover

We're not gonna take it!!!!

2008-07-16T13:30:00.001-03:00

Hi All,

The fire hall in the tiny community of Ross Ferry was literally bursting out of the doors with people late last week, as we anxiously waited for news from the RCMP. This news was the last thing we wanted to hear, but at the same time, something we all needed to know.

It seems that in the wide spanning, yet sparsely populated areas of Big Bras d’or, Boularderie East, Boularderie Centre, Ross Ferry and Kempt Head that a dozen break and enters have occurred within the last month and a half. A DOZEN, as in TWELVE! Citizens from these communities as well as New Campbellton came to hear what we could do to stop further break ins from occurring.

Apparently, lowlifes were helping themselves to whatever they wanted from homes and bungalows, mostly in broad daylight. They had stolen everything and anything they thought might be of any value: computers, lawnmowers, jewelery, tools, etc. The most heartbreaking moment of the meeting was when one victim, (who had been gone for only 4 hours the morning of his break in) told the story of things taken that he could never replace. This family has lovingly adopted 4 children, two from Asia, and two from Ethiopia. The silver crosses given to his boys from Ethiopia by their dying Mother had been stolen. There was not a dry eye in the fire hall as he recounted the horror when he and his wife discovered these crosses were stolen from their own home.

Now I must warn these thieving scumbags that our communities were informed by the RCMP of what and who to look for. Since receiving this information, we are all now reporting suspicious activity, vehicles and people that don’t belong, and we are reinstituting our Rural Watch program. These are things you don’t really want to have to do in a small community, but remember, people in small communities all know each other and look out for one another. I am confident that these thieves will be caught and our communities will be safe again.

So to you heartless, gutless, thieves beware and know this: Our eyes are peeled and our ears are open. We’re not gonna take it!

Until next time,

Michelle

P.S. I know it’s been a long time since my last blog, so please accept my excuses and apologies. June went by in a whirlwind, what with class trips, end of year parties, and wrapping up my Roots of Empathy class. And now with the lazy, hazy (finally!!) days of summer upon us, our days are spent outside with the kids in the pool or trotting off to the lake for a dip.

Michelle

www.c-a-s-m.org

My Daughter is Gifted

2008-06-04T12:38:00.008-03:00

Hi All,

I know you must be thinking sure her daughter is gifted, doesn't every Mother claim that? Please give me time to explain and I think you will agree.

The first thing you notice about my daughter, Maisie, is her smile. It's as bright as sunshine and full of mischief and fun. The next thing you'd notice is the little box that seems to float near her head just behind her right ear. That tiny little box is actually a BAHA, short for bone anchored hearing aid, and it usually makes people take a confused second look at her.

That tiny, expensive BAHA is what is giving Maisie a new lease on life.

Maisie is hearing impaired. She was born with a profound hearing loss in one ear. When learned of her hearing impairment when she was about a month old, and for that I am grateful. However, we had no idea how to deal with it. The rest of our family, and basically everyone we know have "normal" hearing, so how could we help our little infant? Should we shout at her when we sing and do nursery rhymes, would she even hear that? We had a lot to learn about hearing loss.

Maisie has compensated so well with her hearing loss that at times we almost forget that she has it. She had never worn any kind of hearing aid because of the type of hearing loss she has. Her cochlea is not properly formed and a regular hearing aid wouldn't benefit her at all. She is lost at times between the hearing and deaf world. She's not deaf, but she doesn't hear like others. She has had many ways that she deals with it, mostly by just repeating "WHAT?" For this response, she has received many sour looks and responses, to which we reply, "She's deaf in one ear." This is always a shock to those who don't know she's hearing impaired.

Maisie is truly a brave little girl. On November 28, 2007, she underwent life changing surgery. A titanium screw was implanted into her skull, which when healed, she would attach a BAHA which conducts sound through her head to her only working ear. As we waited in the pre operation area, her little legs were pumping up and down in her chair as she was met by every person of her operation team, anesthesiologists, surgeons, and nurses. Seeing her legs pumping enthusiastically, they asked if she was nervous or scared, to which she replied, "No, I'm just excited!"

The surgery itself took about 2 1/2 hours, and after she had a HUGE bandage on her head. She was taken back to her room and given painkillers, which she stopped taking completely in three short days.

The screw healed nicely into her skull, the stitches look like they were done by a plastic surgeon, and her hair is growing back. Some will never grow back around the screw, but that's because she had a skin graft around the screw so that hair won't grow around it, and that's ok.

March 10th was her big day. She was finally healed well enough to start wearing her BAHA. We'd basically waited for about 7 years by now for her to be able to hear better. I don't think I could've waited another day, I was so excited. My little girl was going to be able to hear so much better than she could on March 9th, or any other day of her whole life!

As we waited for the audiologist (we were an hour early!) we were so excited. He hooked on the BAHA, turned it on, plugged her good ear and began to test her hearing with only the BAHA. The results were conclusive that she could "hear" almost as well with her BAHA as she could in her good ear. When we left the hospital and got into the car, we were all talking about where we were going to go next, and Maisie said, "Why are you all yelling?" I told her we weren't yelling at all and she said, "But you're so LOUD!" I chuckled as I told her we've always been loud, she just hasn't heard us.

Maisie is now hearing sounds that she's never heard before, things she doesn't recognize. For example, we were at her brother’s basketball game and she was completely puzzled by a sound she could hear but didn't know what it was. After I strained to hear it, I discovered it was the sound of balls pinging off the rim when the boys missed a shot. She had never heard it before. She also now really hears the sound of birds in the yard, the wind, and she hears things that "hearing" people have learned to block out as background noise. Because she's not really heard well, these are all new sounds to her. It's wonderful to see the look on her face as she tries to figure out just what she's hearing.

Maisie not only functions, she thrives. When we were told of her hearing loss, the outlook given to us was very bleak. We were told that she most likely have speech problems (and she did have some), and also have troubles in school due to not hearing instructions and therefore not understanding them. I think the exact phrase given to us was she was "set up for failure".

Today she is one of the best readers in her class; she is caring, kind and generous even though she's sometimes struggled, as many people with disabilities do, she’s never thrown in the towel.

People who face challenges and adversities doing things that we all take for granted every day truly amaze me. Their strength, courage, and determination are inspiring.

Realizing the things Maisie can do with only one ear, the things she's accomplished are amazing. If you step back and appreciate what you have, your heart fills with love, pride, and joy

That's why I think.....my daughter is gifted.

Boularderie's awakening

2008-05-20T10:09:00.003-03:00

Hi All,

Raise you're hand if you think it feels like spring. Me neither. But in the last couple of weeks, I have seen my beautiful Boularderie Island wake up from a long winter's nap. The snow has finally melted and tree buds are just starting to burst. But the real way to tell that we will soon be planting perennials and mowing the lawn is to look around and see the businesses that have reopened for another promising season.

Boularderie is blessed with a lot of seasonal businesses, most of which open the first or second week of May. In the last couple of weeks, businesses like Hank's and Morrison's Greenhouses and Mac Neil's, Seal Island and Kelly's View Motels have reopened. Our lovely antique stores, Den of Antiquity, is filled with treasures and open for business! Island Point Resort in South Side Boularderie is a beautiful place to spend a quiet, relaxing vacation. There are also several cottages available for rent such as View of the Sea and Bird Island Boat tours.

The Bender's Restaurant, Fitzgerald's Restaurant, Seal Island Restaurant, and Captain Ron's are all up and running. My absolute favorite establishment on the whole island Cedar House is back to serving delicious meals and to-die-for baked goods.

There's no excuse and plenty of reasons for everyone who comes over the Seal Island Bridge to spend a little time browsing the Den of Antiquity and to have lunch or supper at one of our fantastic restaurants. Why not make it a weekend trip and stay at one of the wonderful accommodations offered on my beautiful island? I think you'll see it's worth the time.

Until next time,

Michelle

Michelle's tips for living greener

2008-04-22T14:53:00.003-03:00

Hi All,

Well, with Earth Day here today, I think it's time I got to posting this blog!

There are many ways that we can help out our planet that don't take much time, effort, or money. In most cases, you will save money if you try some of these little tips.

- Reusable coffee and juice cups

As little as a couple of years ago, I sent juice boxes with my kids to school. I soon realized it didn't take much more effort to fill three reusable juice boxes in the morning, so I switched and no longer purchase juice boxes. Same thing goes for coffee cups. MOST of the time I can remember to take mine with me in the car, so if I want to stop for a coffee, I have my own cup, and I also save 10 cents if I purchase it at Tim Horton's. This leads me to my next tip....

- Don't drive thru

Although we still eat out and buy coffee, etc., I no longer use the drive thru. By getting off my fat you-know-what and walking into the store, I am usually saving myself time by not waiting in the drive thru, and I am wasting less gas and putting out a little less emissions.

- Buy used

I purchase alot of clothing, games, books, you name it at second hand stores. I can get great deals, and give something a second chance at life, instead of heading to a landfill.

- Turn off the lights

We all saw what a huge effect Earth Hour had on our planet. If we turn off lights when not needed, we can again save money and harmful emissions.

- Buy Local

I know it's not possible to buy all things local all the time, but do it when you can. We are lucky here on Boularderie Island to be able to buy fresh eggs as well as tomatoes and cucumbers from Eyking Farms all year round. In the summer, you can get all kinds of locally grown fruits and vegetables from Hank's Family Farm. We can also get fresh strawberries from Rendell's and Quinn's Farms. All on our doorstep. We have to eat imported fruits and veggies all winter, so it's nice to be able to buy local, fresh produce when the season allows, and it's a great way to support your local economy!

- Don't litter!!!!!!!!

I saved this one for last because it seems like a no brainer, but sadly, every spring we see the evidence emerging that the snow has covered all winter. I am always surprised to think about and sometimes SEE people throwing from their cars everything from cigarette butts to McDonald's bags stuffed with garbage! Where do they think this will end up? I'll tell you. It ends up ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD YOU THREW IT ON!!! So please, this is the easiest of all....don't litter.

So you can see that these are very easy things that cost nothing to implement, require very little effort, yet can make a big difference. And if you're like me and occasionally forget your coffee cup, forgive yourself because you are trying. And a little effort can go a long way to make a cleaner, greener planet.

Until next time,

Michelle

How I Stunned the Grade 3 Class

2008-04-03T11:49:00.004-03:00

Hi All,

I guess you're all wondering now from the title how I managed to COMPLETELY stun a class of 17 eight and nine year olds. Well let me tell you....

As a stay at home Mom I have more than my share of time to do volunteer work in my community. As you all know, I LOVE living here on Boularderie Island, and feel it is my duty to be an asset to my community. Our whole family has volunteered to clean up 1/3 of a local park, and my husband and I do many hours of volunteer work at our children's school.

One of the new commitments I took on this year for Boularderie School is Roots of Empathy. Roots of Empathy is a program where I bring a baby and the baby's Mom into the classroom (in this case grade 3) to help teach the children about the baby's development, and to try to teach them empathy for the baby, and in turn, for each other. I do 27 visits over the course of nine months, and I bring the Mom and baby in for 9 of those classes. After completing my training in October to be a qualified Roots of Empathy instructor, I was assigned to the grade 3 class.

Things have been going very well, and the kids are just in LOVE with the baby. Their little faces just light up when they see him, and he seems to enjoy all the attention. He is absolutely adorable.

Last Friday, during a pre baby visit where we get prepared for the baby visit, things were completely getting out of hand. The kids were, at some points laying and pulling on the blanket we sit around during the class, shoving each other, and "changing" the words to the nursery rhymes we were practicing in preparation for our baby's visit. If you have children, or was one at some point, you can imagine the lyrics these kids can come up with. The teacher and I had tried to pull them back on track many times, but nothing seemed to be effective.

Since I've never been a "teacher" before in a school environment, I have to use the skills I've developed by raising three children. After the nursery rhymes fiasco, drastic measures had to be taken. I stood up and listened to the chatter, looked over to the teacher's aid (who had taken over from the teacher) and said loudly (just to be heard), "Can someone help me fold up the blanket, please?” something we do at the very end of our visit. Since they LOVE to be helpful, three or four children immediately jumped up and began to fold the blanket. After about 5 seconds, someone said, "Why are we folding the blanket"? No, a hush didn't come over the class, but those of who had heard the question began repeating it and that's when I stunned them.

I shushed them as they passed me my blanket and began to explain. I told them that I had to leave. Why, they asked, to which I replied, "You guys are not listening or participating the way that you are supposed to and this class is to get ready to bring the baby in and I won't be able to bring the baby into this kind of environment. You are being too loud and inappropriate and it's not a safe or loving environment to bring the baby into. I'm sorry, but I have to leave."

After they picked their little jaws off the floor, they pleaded with me to give them another chance. Between me, the teacher, and the teacher's aid, we had already given them at least a dozen warnings about their behavior. None had previously worked, but for one fleeting second, I contemplated putting the blanket back down and continuing. Then the next second, I went back to the only skills I really had to draw on from teaching, my own children. If I had given them that many warnings, would I go back on my word and stay? Not on your life. I apologized to them, and told them that I would have to come back another day and left. I could tell that they were sorry then, but why were they only sorry when something was taken away from them? Why weren't they sorry when we were pleading with them to pay attention? Were they sorry for their behavior towards me and the teachers, or for themselves? I would find out shortly.

I found the teacher in the school and told her what had happened. She agreed that I did the right thing, and we made arrangements between ourselves that I would return Monday morning.

My son (who is in the grade 3 class) came home after school and handed me an envelope. Inside was a letter from EVERY child in grade 3 (my son included) telling me how sorry they were, how much they liked the class, how they LOVED "their" baby, and how very very sorry they were about their behavior. It literally brought a tear to my eye. Not only did they appreciate the class, they also wanted me back, even though, "Miss took away our art class," was included in one letter.

I questioned my decision to leave so abruptly as soon as I stepped out of the school. I called my mentor for the program later that day and asked her if I'd done the right thing. She assured me that they had learned a lesson of empathy that is not in the books. They had learned that my time is important, and that a certain behavior is expected of them. They are far enough into the program that they know what's expected of them in terms of behavior. And, they were genuinely sorry. This I knew for sure.

I am happy to report that bright and early Monday morning, I was back in class, with their letters in my hand, to tell them how much it meant to me that they liked the class and wanted me back. I explained to them that I was not getting paid to do these classes and they did take time to prepare and I was glad that they could appreciate that. I also told them how much I truly LOVE teaching Roots of Empathy to them. And I am happy to report that class went off without a hitch, with kids who were laughing, smiling, and being kind to each other....and to me.

I am sure this is a lesson they'll never forget.

Until next time,

Michelle

Are you there Spring? It's me, Michelle.

2008-03-16T18:39:00.002-03:00

Dear Spring,

I know in the past that I've complained and even cursed your sticky, dirty mud that covers the kid’s shoes, jackets, and occasionally hair, but can't we PLEASE put that behind us? Please?

These past few years I've been hard on you Spring, and I'm ashamed to admit it. I have a new appreciation of you after living through this long, cold, snow covered winter. I can't wait for you to arrive so I can open the windows and feel your cool breeze flow through the house. Or to hang out laundry on your beautiful (yet still cool) sunny days and not have it freeze solid. My back will thank you when I no longer need to carry 40 pound bags of wood pellets into the house. I can't wait to be able to take out my bike, my golf clubs, my sneakers......oh Spring, how I long for you.

I know that you're as anxious as I am to arrive. I've caught a glimpse of you a couple of times. This past week I was able to drive up the driveway without silently praying or cursing for the first time in months. Just the other day I spotted some of your sweet little buds on the trees in the yard.

Don't be afraid Spring, this year I promise to take advantage of every cool, sweet day that you are willing to give me. I will drink my morning coffee on my deck, even if I have to wear my winter coat as long as I don't have to look at the dirty mountains of snow in the yard and worry if more will come. I will ride my bike over the pot holes on the road and not complain because I'll be thankful that you melted the snow. I will silently thank you every time I tee off on the first hole...and every hole after if you'd just show yourself to me.

There's something in it for you too, Spring. This year, more than any other, people will be thrilled to see you. They are sick of shoveling, sick of cold weather, and are anxiously awaiting your arrival. March came in like a lion, so can you help us out and let it go out like a lamb?

Signed,

Michelle Symes

Just when you think life really sucks......

2008-03-13T18:53:00.002-03:00

Hi All,

Well, where to begin. Let's see. When my husband goes to work, it takes a good week for me to come down off my pins and needles. Let's just say that if a crisis is going to happen with the house, car, kids, etc., chances are it'll happen when he's at work. Case and point, the septic system flooded THE DAY HE WENT TO WORK! He had been in HRM about an hour when it started. If the kids are sick, 9 times out of 10, he is at work.

I guess I was starting to let my guard down as I kicked back to watch Survivor Thursday night. My husband had been at work since Saturday, and so far so good. Until I heard the sound that could wake me out of the deadest of sleeps. The bed puke. This time it was my daughter, and it continued for 28 hours straight, and off and on until Saturday sometime. The lack of sleep, laundry, and disinfecting was going at a rapid pace around here all weekend, and is continuing even now. By the way, who got voted off Survivor?

Saturday, my oldest son went for a sleepover at one of his closest friends houses, Samuel. These guys have been really close since we moved here and it's not hard to see why. They both have a very laid back personalities, and really have a great time together. My son often says that Samuel is the nicest kid he knows, and I really can't argue, he really is such a sweetie. Sunday morning, I get a call from Samuel's parents that my son had been struck with a golf club (by Samuel)and had a nosebleed, might need stitches and I could meet them at the hospital. Total panic in my house. First, I have just gotten out of the shower, my hair is still in a towel, Pukey McBarf is still queasy, and my other son isn't even dressed! What next?!? I called my parents and asked them to meet us at the hospital, told them the bbq I planned for us that afternoon was now cancelled, and could they take care of the other two while we waited who knows how long to get my son taken care of at the hospital. Without a seconds hesitation, they were on their way, with my Aunt Cella in tow.

When we arrive at the hospital, I don't know who to console more, my son, who eventually needed 4 stitches to close his face, or his little buddy Samuel, who was crying way harder than my son.

My parents and Aunt arrived, took the other two kids to our place, and Samuel and his Mom Brenda stayed through the X Rays- nothing broken - the stitches -4 total- plus some steri strips. Meanwhile, my friend and neighbour Jody had stopped by the house when she heard what happened (news travels fast on Boularderie Island!) and said she would take the only healthy child I had left to his banquet at 5:00. Boy I can't wait for my husband to get back home!

As I thought about what a crappy looong weekend I had lastnight, something occurred to me. When I needed help, my family, neighbours and friends were there without a moment's hesitation. My Mom was almost late for work, my parents and Aunt had boiled hot dogs for lunch instead of yummy bbq, Brenda and Samuel stayed at the hospital with me the whole time and helped ease the tension of the situation (I am so not good with needles!), Jody picked up my other son to take him to the banquet. How lucky are we to be surrounded by so much love and support? This is exactly why we love living here in Boularderie.

Thank you Mom and Dad, Aunt Cella, my daughter and other son, Brenda and Samuel and Jody. I really appreciate everything.

I guess just when you think life really sucks, you find out just how lucky you are.

Until next time,

Michelle

NIMBY WIMBY

2008-03-13T18:49:00.002-03:00

Hi All,

If you haven't read the article about NIMBY in the Chronicle Herald, here's the link so you know what I'm talking about. http://www.thechronicleherald.ca/Search/1042669.html

Now here's what I think. I have a severe case of NIMBY (Not In My Backyard) and I'm not ashamed, embarrassed, or afraid to admit it. The plain and simple fact is that I am opposed to strip mining on Boularderie Island for several reasons, the main one being that it directly affects my family. I can honestly say that if I still lived in HRM, I would have never protested against strip mining on Boularderie Island for the simple fact that it wouldn't DIRECTLY affect my family, my neighbours, and my community. Strip mining puts our water supply at risk, devastates the beauty of this island, and could possibly affect the health of my family. Why should I just sit by and let this happen?

If you think about it, don't we ALL have NIMBY, at least from time to time? We all are more concerned about local issues that directly affect us than issues that are further removed. I am sure that I do not have a case of CAVE (Citizens Against Virtually Everything). There are many things that I don't agree with or support but I don't actively oppose. There are many things that I also silently support, like the seal hunt, which I am sure is a shock to some people.

For example, I think that people from Bridgewater (that's only an example, I have nothing against the people of Bridgewater) would not be able to point to Boularderie Island on a map, let alone tell you of any local concerns or issues, or for that matter, events taking place. And with the exception that many people on Boularderie Island would know where Bridgewater is, the same can probably be said of Boularderie residents knowing the local Bridgewater news.

I also have a case of WIMBY (Want It In My Backyard). WIMBY causes me to help make positive changes in my community. This case of WIMBY causes my family to participate in local clean up efforts, volunteer in local schools and participate in and support local events.

Change begins at home and almost nothing would get done in a small community without the efforts of its citizens supporting it, or in some cases, opposing it. If local people don't stand up and express their thoughts and opinions on what takes place in their own communities, who will do it for them?

That's why I am not ashamed, embarrassed or afraid to admit that I have a case of NIMBY and a case of WIMBY.

Until next time,

Michelle

Prebiotic Probiotic Omega WHAT?!?

2008-02-28T12:10:00.002-04:00

Hi All,

Is anyone else out there as confused as I am about all of the terms being thrown around by food manufactures these days? It's getting so bad that I think I might have to invest in a laptop with wireless internet to take with me just to go grocery shopping.

Our family always tries to eat healthy. This used to be easier before terms which I can hardly pronounce and would not even attempt to guess at their meanings. How much of these terms (because I don't know what else to call them) do I need in my diet? What if I eat too much omega 3, for instance, will my skin fall off? My research has shown me that basically I have no clue as to what these terms mean or what benefits they will have on our overall health. Guess it’s time for Michelle to head back to school.

It seems that it used to be ALOT easier to eat a healthy well balanced diet when I was a kid. Basic rules were eat something from every food group every day, try to limit sugar intake, stay away from too much processed food, and eat lots of vegetables. Today, I seem to sometimes be spending more time reading labels in the grocery store than I do actually filling up the cart.

Like most families, our biggest monthly bill appears to be food. Partly because we're a family of five, three being ravenous children who can never seem to be filled. My husband and I almost always prepare home cooked meals (at least for supper) and encourage our children to eat healthy by setting that example. It really wouldn't do much good, I think, for us to eat whatever we wanted and make the kids eat all the veggies. And we like eating healthy, it tastes good!

When our youngest son was a preschooler, the only vegetable he ate was potatoes. Through encouragement (and sometimes threats of "nothing else until breakfast"), he now eats a variety of vegetables. It was a long and hard road to get him to even try some of these veggies, but we were determined to try as many as we could to get him to eat a variety. And persistence paid off. Today one of his favorite vegetables is raw spinach. Really.

Schools are also, in my humble opinion, doing a fantastic job of encouraging kids to eat healthier. This year, my kids school introduced a breakfast program which hands out different things every week, mostly bananas, apples, yogurt and milk. Even though my kids eat breakfast every morning, they usually stop in to see "what's on the menu" and pick up a piece of fruit or yogurt and a milk. Schools in this area have also removed pop from the vending machines and filled them with water or juice, and removed deep fryers from the cafeteria. I feel they have come a long way in a short time to encourage kids to eat healthy. Not all parents were pleased with this. There was backlash in the news with parents complaining that their kids wouldn't eat the healthy foods made mostly from scratch in the cafeteria. To this I say, pack them a lunch then.

My children's school has a few kids who have severe peanut, fish, shellfish, and egg allergies. At first I must admit it was a bit difficult to find things that they could take for lunch. With all the "additives" in yogurt, bread, bagels, some cheeses etc. like omega 3 (which is a fish oil and on the "banned substance list"), and products which "may have come in contact with nuts", things were looking bleak for a while. Recess was not a problem because most times, we send fruit or something I made like cookies. I don't see the point of kids eating a fruit roll up for recess, there is NO nutritional value and as far as filling them up, they would be about as full as eating a single grape. We do buy things like dunkaroos and fruit snacks, but it is a very rare occurrence. I know fruits and vegetables are VERY expensive, but our feeling is we'd rather spend money on fruit and veggies than spend $2.99 on a 6 pack box of fruit snacks. Remember, I'm the Queen of cheap!

I know you are thinking it must be easy for us to prepare healthy meals because I have the opportunity to be a stay at home Mom. That does make it easier, but just because I'm "called" a stay at home Mom, doesn't mean I am. I have many activities within my children's school (I'm teaching a class there once a week) and community that keep me busy both inside and outside of home on an almost daily basis. It is not a sacrifice for me to feed my children nutritious meals; it is my obligation to them.

I'm not saying that everything we eat is healthy or organic (we still eat white bread) or that we never have treats or eat out, we just do it sensibly. Most Friday nights are movie nights, a tradition we started when my oldest son was in grade primary. It's a way to unwind from a busy week and spend some time as a family, which we all enjoy and look forward to. On these nights, we will often have pizza, sometimes pop, and chips or something. We don't give them treats everyday, and they look forward to it, rather than expect it.

So while I stumble around the grocery store scratching my head trying to read labels and determine what exactly is in what product, as confused as anyone else, I am truly trying to make an effort to teach my children the values of a healthy lifestyle.

You've all heard the old adage, "Healthy living begins at home". It's something we truly believe in and take part in because we believe our kids are worth it.

Until next time,

Michelle

When I Was Jennifer

2008-02-20T14:51:00.004-04:00

Hi All,

After reading the story of adoptions in The Chronicle Herald yesterday, http://www.thechronicleherald.ca/Front/1038595.html I had some of the same feelings as the people in this story on adoption reunions. Sometimes they work, often times, they don’t. It’s funny because my Mom and I were talking about what people expect to get from meeting their birth parents just yesterday.

You see, before I was Michelle Symes, SuperMom and blogger extraordinaire (LOL), I was Michelle Kozera, student and athlete, and even before that I was Jennifer MacDonnell.

I was adopted when I was about two months old by my loving and caring parents. I NEVER call them my "adoptive parents" because to me, they are just my parents.

I can not remember a time in my life when I didn't know that I was adopted. My parents tried to explain adoption to me when I was about four years old. After thinking they had done a bang up job trying to explain something so complicated to a young child who had never had any other Mom and Dad, they took me to visit my Grandparents. My Mom tells me the story of her asking me to explain to my Grampy the story of adoption they had told me. I told my Grampy I was "dopted". He looked puzzled and asked me what dopted meant. I confidently told him that "someone dopted me on the floor and Mommy and Daddy picked me up and took me home." I don't think their efforts had failed, I think that's about as much as a four year old could understand at the time.

Being the most curious and nosy person I know, I myself am always a bit surprised that I have never had the need that some adoptees feel to meet their birth parents. My parents have told me all they know about my birth Mother. She was 18 at the time of my birth, came from a large family, and didn't feel like she had the resources to raise a child. Being a mother myself, I can not begin to imagine the grief she must have felt having to give me up. But I am glad she did. I don't mean glad as in the fact that I don't think she loved me, I know she did. She came from the very small community of Inverness, and in the 1970s, it was not like it is today when teens often raise their own out of wedlock children.

I have never not known love. Even when I was Jennifer in the orphanage before I was adopted by my parents, I know I was loved and well cared for. I know this because over the years, my parents and I have run into people from that orphanage and they have always treated me with kindness and expressed genuine interest in my well being.

The only frustrating part of being adopted that I have run into is the fact that I have very little family medical history. And I can't get it unless I meet my birth mother and ask her myself. Although I would like to have this medical information for myself and especially for my children, I don't seek it. My birth Mother was young when she had me, and hopefully had more children. Maybe she's married. Maybe her husband doesn't know about me. Do I have the right to just barge into her life and ask her to divulge medical information? Technically I do have that right, but what kind of pain and disruption would that cause her? I have always known that I could probably bypass all the “red tape” of government to find my birth Mother. Chances are if I pick up the phone book and make one call to Inverness, I would probably find birth relatives or even my birth Mother in a couple of hours but I never have. And I probably never will. Maybe knowing I could easily find my birth family makes me not so curious.

I have a wonderful family and two younger brothers who were a surprise to my parents as my Mom was told she could never give birth to children. I had Grandparents who adored me, a large extended family, and I have NEVER felt like an outsider in my family.

I must admit that I have always wanted someone who looks like me. Maybe it's vanity, I'm not really sure why, but it's just something I've always wanted. I must have "one of those faces" because throughout my life, I have, more times than I can count heard that I look "just like-so-and-so". And I can't tell you how many times people have called me Jennifer, or told me I look like a Jennifer. Strange. When my oldest son was born, I remember wondering if he would look like me. And I'll never forget the day we Mom came up to visit us and met her first Grandchild. I met her at the door with the baby in my arms, and told me he looked just like my husband. I told her I knew (and he did look like my husband), but she was supposed to tell me that he looked like me because no one else did!

I have always wanted a sister, and when my brothers were born (when I was seven and eight years old), I was honestly disappointed. Especially since my Mom had sworn to me when she was pregnant with my youngest brother that he was a girl. I'm over it now, of course, and love my brothers dearly. I remember grumbling about the story of my youngest brother being a girl to my husband one day and he asked me if I had a sister and she contacted me, what would I do? I had never thought of that before. I told him I would be surprised, but she would not be my "sister". Physically she would be my sister, but she was not there when I was growing up, my brothers were. She wasn't there for all the family trips around the Cabot Trail, all the fun times we had as a family. She could possibly become a friend, and biologically a sister, but not emotionally.

People always ask me, when they find out I'm adopted if I've met my birth family. I tell them that the only thing I would want to tell my birth Mother is thank you. Thank you for not getting an abortion and thank you for giving me life.

To my parents, thank you for always loving and supporting me and giving me a wonderful life. To my birth Mother, thank you for giving me the opportunity to live this wonderful life.

Until next time,

Michelle

The Mock Holiday

2008-02-10T09:42:00.000-04:00

Hi All,

On the grand scale of "holidays" Valentine's Day is at the very bottom for me. I enjoy Groundhog Day more than Valentine's Day. Top of the list is my birthday and Halloween. Even though my parents have forgotten my birthday on occasion ( I forgive them because they weren't actually *there* for the actual birth day, I'm adopted-although after so many years you’d think they’d remember) and my Grandfather died on my birthday, I enjoy it 100 times more than Valentines Day.

So you can imagine my surprise when Son #1 came up to me and asked me to take him shopping for Valentine's Day.

The conversation kind of went like this:

Me (Completely puzzled, because Son #1 has clearly inherited his Mother's "cheap" gene) "What do you mean you need to go shopping for Valentine's Day?"

Son #1 ”I want to buy something for (we'll call her Mary) Mary."

As my husband picked me up off the floor, we tried to explain to our oldest son *who's only 11* why we don't give each other gifts for Valentine's Day.

Husband ”There are many reasons....I don't need a special day to tell your Mom I love her, I tell her every day." *And that's true, he really does.*

Son #1 (Clearly ga ga over Mary) "But it's Valentines Day!"

Husband "Your Mother and I decided a long time ago that we don't believe in Valentine's Day." *True, by the way*

Son #1 (To me) "So when can you take me shopping?" *YIKES*

Me (Joking of course, the kid makes Scrooge look like a philanthropist) "What does your Mom get from you for Valentines Day?"

Son #1 "The privilege of driving me to the mall to go shopping." *I kid you not, that's what he said.... in case you've forgotten, HE'S E-L-E-V-E-N!!!*

Mom "Son, when you're married, you don't celebrate Valentine's Day anymore, you celebrate your anniversary." (I am clearly not prepared for this conversation)

Son #1 "Huh."

In our house, my husband and I call Valentine's Day the "Mock holiday". We stopped buying gifts for each other for Valentine's Day years ago. And there are many reasons, mainly the fact that I think getting a chocolate heart with 6 tiny chocolates inside (which would be gobbled up by three kids in 5 seconds) that cost $10 is a ridiculous waste of money when I could buy at least 10 yummy Hershey bars for the same price -not that I would, of course. Add that to the fact that I'm cheap...remember? And I think with cheap goes low maintenance, because I'm that, too. I do LOVE to get flowers, and my husband is much better than he used to be about buying me flowers. I don't need flowers that cost twice as much on Valentine's Day compared to other times of the year (and die a day later, I might add) to arrive here on Feb 14th. I got flowers just last week, before the Valentine's mark up. My husband clearly knows the way to this cheap girl's heart.

Anyway, whether you celebrate it or not, Happy Mock Holiday to all of you!

Until next time,

Michelle

You're some lucky, Buddy!

2008-02-08T09:19:00.000-04:00

Hi All,

I would not be so outraged if I didn't have Amigo. He's my sweet little beagle. Before him, when I heard stories like I saw and read about this week concerning Celtic Pet Rescue of course I was concerned... I'm not made of stone.... but weren't there worse things to worry about than animals? I mean there are starving children all over this world.

Amigo himself came from a rescue organization (Beagle Paws www.beaglepaws.com) based out of St. John's Newfoundland and Labrador. Beagle Paws rescues beagles that have been abandoned, abused, unwanted, or their owners can no longer care for them. I found this organization by accident, when we were looking to get our first family pet. I had chosen another beagle (all done over the internet and phone), but after learning more about our family and our surroundings, they recommended Amigo. Our family had to go through a screening program before being allowed to adopt. For me, I was glad to see them ask so many questions, it made me feel like they just didn't hand out dogs to everyone and really tried to match the right dog to the right family.

On February 17, 2007, we will celebrate Amigo's 3rd "birthday", which is actually the day we picked him up at the Halifax airport and took him to his forever home. But enough about Amigo because I could go on and on about that sweet sweet beagle.

There must be a rumour going around in the abandoned/lost pet community on Boularderie Island that the Symes family will take you in. And feed you. And bathe you. And find you a home. In the last 3 years, we have found homes for one cat, who was living in one of our sheds, and one dog, "Buddy" who we moved in for a couple of days while we figured out where we find him a home. One dog we couldn't help very much because I was afraid he might have rabies. When I called the SPCA about that dog, they were going to come and get him. Then, they called back and said they weren't because we live outside of CBRM, and could we possibly transport him to the St. James Road (only a few kms away) then they could pick him up. Oh, and to make me feel better, they told me there's no rabies in Cape Breton. Yeah....ok....ummm...let me think about that one.....NO!!! Put a possibly rabid dog in my van and drive it down the road? Really? The dog disappeared shortly after, and I never saw him again.

The cat living in the shed was there for who knows how long. I found him sitting on top of the patio table AFTER I had sent the dog in to scare of any *eek* mice. Amigo never saw the cat (he gets by on his looks mostly), but while I was taking the gardening tools from the shelf, I saw something move out of the corner of my eye and slowly turned around to find the cat. He's now living a good life as a mouser in a barn in Kempt Head.

The dog, Buddy, we found last year in April. From what we can piece together by talking to neighbours is Buddy may have been lost or abandoned in January. He had been on the run for 4 months. A family had moved away, and "Buddy", as the kids called him, got left behind. Buddy showed up here so skinny that when I bathed him I could SEE his ribs. He ate 5 full bowls of food the first time I fed him. He was so skinny that Amigo's harness fit around his torso, even though he was about 4-6 inches taller than Amigo. He really was a beautiful and sweet tempered dog.

We bathed him and fed him, and housed him for a couple of days and called a local vet to see if they knew anyone missing him, or anyone wanting him. I didn't bother to call the SPCA since they had be no help at all with the other dog. The vet called Celtic Pet Rescue, and they agreed to take him. By the time the vet brought him to Port Hawkesbury, someone else had offered to adopt him. "Buddy" is now living on a huge farm in Antigonish and I am sure he is a loyal and loving pet.

When I think how close he came to going to Celtic Pet Rescue, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I know that nothing has been "proven" yet, but just looking at the pictures of the state of a place you send animals to be SAFE...there are no words to describe it. The white cat I saw on the news with pee all over it, the lack of food in the bowls, the feces and filth, you can almost smell it through the tv. Sickening. And inexcusible.

Buddy, you don't know how lucky you are.

You Can't See Deaf

2008-02-01T09:24:00.000-04:00

Hi All,

So we have a big event taking place in the Symes house in the next week. Exciting and nerve wracking news all at the same time. Our little daughter will be having a "nail put in her head" (her words) next week. And really, it's not that far from the truth, except for the fact that it's a screw and not a nail. I'll get to that in a second.....

You can't imagine the joy we felt the day our little girl was born. We adored our boys, and from the minute we found out we were having a girl, we were both shocked and thrilled. Although she wasn't quite as planned as her brothers, we were as happy as clams to be having a daughter. That day she was born was very emotional for my husband and I. We now had a beautiful daughter, who we named after his late Mother, and it seemed like our little family was at last complete. And, at the same time, we were scared to death. We were used to boys, what would we do with a girl? Does she need a doll or something? We need to buy some dresses. Can't we just buy her a pink Tonka truck? Today, our daughter is what we refer to as a "boy in a dress". She LOVES her dresses and doing girly things, but she is as tough as nails, probably thanks in part to having 2 big brothers. She is funny, smart, and beautiful. And, she is hearing impaired.

We found out about her hearing impairment during a routine screening when she was about a month old. At first, the audiologist thought there was something wrong with the equipment when the readings (from what we call her "wonky" ear) came back at nil. After several more tries, our anxiety rising steadily, it was determined that there was a problem in one of her ears, maybe nothing serious, and she would need to come in for another test. After the next battery of tests failed, it was determined that she had a profound hearing loss in one ear, and may benefit from a hearing aid. Being the neurotic Mother I am, I was devastated thinking of her having to go through life with a hearing aid, especially through childhood.... kids can be so cruel. I see now how vain and full of self pity those thoughts were. Those were my first thoughts, but they soon changed.

After more testing, it was determined that a hearing aid would not benefit her, as it was her cochlea that was not properly formed and a hearing aid would not help her hear. Funny how perspective can change so quickly. More crying from me, but this time not for vanity reasons, suddenly vanity was the least of our problems. They were telling us our daughter would never hear as clearly as regular people. She was disadvantaged and there was nothing we could do to help her. These tears that flowed, were worries that she would miss out on opportunities in life that she deserved.

Now if you met our daughter, you may not realize she is hearing impaired. Or you might, like others do, think that she is ignoring you or just shy. Hearing impairment can't always be seen, and that is often times a challenge for us. For example, if she is in a noisy spot, like the grocery store, she can't always clearly hear what someone is saying if they're talking to her. Some people get offended by her not answering, or the way she keeps saying "what?" and I quickly tell them that she is deaf in one ear, and they always look surprised. You can't see deaf.

A couple of years ago, her wonderful audiologist told us about something called a BAHA (bone anchored hearing aid). This is something we had never heard of before, and when we read up on it, we were wondering why no doctor, ENT, APSEA(Atlantic Provinces Special Education Authority) teacher or speech therapist had ever mentioned this BAHA to us before? Since we found out about her single sided deafness, we were told the only thing that would help her was a cochlear implant, and since she could hear in one ear, she could not have that operation.

A titanium screw is inserted into the skull, behind the "wonky" ear, (the operation part) and once the skull has healed around the screw, between 3-6 months, the BAHA can snap directly on the screw and it picks up sound. The BAHA conducts the sound through the skull, and the sound is picked up by the "good" ear. It is often used for people with unilateral hearing loss.Our daughter got to test a BAHA for several weeks this summer, by wearing it on a headband pressed up against her head. When she first put the headband on, the audiologist plugged her "good ear", stood behind her and asked her if she was 7 and she said, "no, I'm 6". My husband and I nearly fell off our chairs. It was truly a miracle.

When we went back to Halifax to meet with the surgeon who will do her operation, he asked her if she liked wearing her BAHA, and she told him she didn't want to give it back. When he asked why, she said, "because I can hear". We never knew just how much she missed until then.Next week, our beautiful daughter will have the "nail" put in her head. A few months later, she will hear much better than she does right now.

Funny how I cried selfishly when I thought she was going to get a hearing aid, and now I cry with joy with the thought she will hear so much better. Perspective is a wonderful, humbling thing.

This is her beginning.

Wish us luck.

Until next time,
Michelle