Wednesday, June 4, 2008

My Daughter is Gifted

Hi All,

I know you must be thinking sure her daughter is gifted, doesn't every Mother claim that? Please give me time to explain and I think you will agree.

The first thing you notice about my daughter, Maisie, is her smile. It's as bright as sunshine and full of mischief and fun. The next thing you'd notice is the little box that seems to float near her head just behind her right ear. That tiny little box is actually a BAHA, short for bone anchored hearing aid, and it usually makes people take a confused second look at her.

That tiny, expensive BAHA is what is giving Maisie a new lease on life.

Maisie is hearing impaired. She was born with a profound hearing loss in one ear. When learned of her hearing impairment when she was about a month old, and for that I am grateful. However, we had no idea how to deal with it. The rest of our family, and basically everyone we know have "normal" hearing, so how could we help our little infant? Should we shout at her when we sing and do nursery rhymes, would she even hear that? We had a lot to learn about hearing loss.

Maisie has compensated so well with her hearing loss that at times we almost forget that she has it. She had never worn any kind of hearing aid because of the type of hearing loss she has. Her cochlea is not properly formed and a regular hearing aid wouldn't benefit her at all. She is lost at times between the hearing and deaf world. She's not deaf, but she doesn't hear like others. She has had many ways that she deals with it, mostly by just repeating "WHAT?" For this response, she has received many sour looks and responses, to which we reply, "She's deaf in one ear." This is always a shock to those who don't know she's hearing impaired.



Maisie is truly a brave little girl. On November 28, 2007, she underwent life changing surgery. A titanium screw was implanted into her skull, which when healed, she would attach a BAHA which conducts sound through her head to her only working ear. As we waited in the pre operation area, her little legs were pumping up and down in her chair as she was met by every person of her operation team, anesthesiologists, surgeons, and nurses. Seeing her legs pumping enthusiastically, they asked if she was nervous or scared, to which she replied, "No, I'm just excited!"

The surgery itself took about 2 1/2 hours, and after she had a HUGE bandage on her head. She was taken back to her room and given painkillers, which she stopped taking completely in three short days.

The screw healed nicely into her skull, the stitches look like they were done by a plastic surgeon, and her hair is growing back. Some will never grow back around the screw, but that's because she had a skin graft around the screw so that hair won't grow around it, and that's ok.

March 10th was her big day. She was finally healed well enough to start wearing her BAHA. We'd basically waited for about 7 years by now for her to be able to hear better. I don't think I could've waited another day, I was so excited. My little girl was going to be able to hear so much better than she could on March 9th, or any other day of her whole life!

As we waited for the audiologist (we were an hour early!) we were so excited. He hooked on the BAHA, turned it on, plugged her good ear and began to test her hearing with only the BAHA. The results were conclusive that she could "hear" almost as well with her BAHA as she could in her good ear. When we left the hospital and got into the car, we were all talking about where we were going to go next, and Maisie said, "Why are you all yelling?" I told her we weren't yelling at all and she said, "But you're so LOUD!" I chuckled as I told her we've always been loud, she just hasn't heard us.



Maisie is now hearing sounds that she's never heard before, things she doesn't recognize. For example, we were at her brother’s basketball game and she was completely puzzled by a sound she could hear but didn't know what it was. After I strained to hear it, I discovered it was the sound of balls pinging off the rim when the boys missed a shot. She had never heard it before. She also now really hears the sound of birds in the yard, the wind, and she hears things that "hearing" people have learned to block out as background noise. Because she's not really heard well, these are all new sounds to her. It's wonderful to see the look on her face as she tries to figure out just what she's hearing.

Maisie not only functions, she thrives. When we were told of her hearing loss, the outlook given to us was very bleak. We were told that she most likely have speech problems (and she did have some), and also have troubles in school due to not hearing instructions and therefore not understanding them. I think the exact phrase given to us was she was "set up for failure".

Today she is one of the best readers in her class; she is caring, kind and generous even though she's sometimes struggled, as many people with disabilities do, she’s never thrown in the towel.

People who face challenges and adversities doing things that we all take for granted every day truly amaze me. Their strength, courage, and determination are inspiring.

Realizing the things Maisie can do with only one ear, the things she's accomplished are amazing. If you step back and appreciate what you have, your heart fills with love, pride, and joy

That's why I think.....my daughter is gifted.

23 comments:

sympathic mom said...

I don't understand one thing why do you want to include graphic picture of CI implant! It's like President LBJ showing his surgery scar and turned off many Americans!

I feel so bad for this lil girl to have such scar that she didn't even ask for... please have mercy!

Anonymous said...

shame on you, mom

Michelle Symes said...

Hi sympathetic,

First of all, if you even read the blog, you'd know it's not a cochlear implant, it's a bone anchored hearing aid.

I have no idea who president LBJ is and we're not American.

Yes, my daughter has a scar, but now she can hear. She's not ashamed or embarrassed of her hearing loss OR her scar OR her BAHA.

I'm sorry if you find the photos graphic, most people want to see them because they imagine it looks much worse than it actually is.

~Michelle

Michelle Symes said...

To anonymous,

Shame? For WHAT? Helping her hear better? Never.

Think of it this way: If she had vision problems, should I be ashamed to get her glasses?

~Michelle

Anonymous said...

Michelle,

I think you should be embarrassed if you are diabetic and you take insulin. Maybe you should be ashamed if you have one leg and use a prosthetic or if you are blind in one eye and have a glass eye. How dare you do something to help your daughter HEAR! What kind of bad parent would ever dream of encouraging their child to succeed? You are an awful CANADIAN mother!!!!

Lianne

P.S. Please forward more graphic photos to my email address. I'll try to see if I can be further horrified by your daughter's hideous scar........that is if I can find a 1-inch scar through a full head of long hair. Oh please have mercy!!!!

P.S.S. Sending you all my love girlfriend. Take it from me.....ignore the Margon's of the world. xx

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, Lianne?
Please don't make comparisons between things that are life threatening and things that are not.

I think the post was excellent, and I would like to know if you still include your daughter in deaf events and if your daughter has any deaf friends?

Anonymous said...

Hi Michelle,

I happen to think your daughter is Gifted as well. I don't find your pics in any way graphic. Like you said - I was surprised to know just how small the scar really was.

How does sympathic mom know your daughter didn't ask for it? Does she now your daughter? Humm I wonder......?

Keep the great blogs coming!!!! I love reading both your & L's. You two keep me smiling for days!!!!!

Smooches!!!
~Jacq

Michelle Symes said...

Dear Rox,

Thank you for your kind words.

I would love to include my daughter in deaf events, but we live in a very small community on a very tiny island and those kind of events don't take place here. I have however, attended a workshop that did take place in my general area last year. This workshop was basically for late deafened people, but beneficial none the less.

My daughter has no deaf or hearing impaired friends or even hearing impaired relatives. Of all 120 or so children in her school (P-6), she is the only hearing impaired child.

I am proud to say that she has taught her class about her hearing impairment all by herself, written her own book about her experiences at the hospital, and allowed all the children (with the acrylic tester) to try her BAHA. She herself is opening eyes and hearts to the struggles and accomplishments of the hearing impaired.

Thanks again,
Michelle

Gina said...

So....

It's really annoying when uninformed people start spewing ignorance for the sake of hearing themselves talk.

"sympathetic mom"...last time I checked, neither Michelle or her beautiful daughter are running for President, nor will the effects of Maisie's surgery have much effect on a national level. But good analogy.
(I'm sure President Johnson is rolling over in his grave as we speak, knowing you're using his actions from 600 years ago to insult someone who's trying to improve the quality of life for their child. You must be a Republican.)

To you and "anonymous", are you really that bored that you feel the need to pull negativity out of an otherwise positive situation written about on a random blog? Don't you have a mySpace account or a cat or a plant or something, to keep you occupied? Perhaps you should suffer from hearing loss for a few days yourselves and see if your perspectives might change.

As for you, Michelle: remember, this is your blog, your life, and YOUR DAUGHTER. I think people from god knows where have a lot of nerve criticizing the decisions you make for your family. Don't let them get to you. (After all, at least we can spell "little"...I thought only Bow Wow and Kim used "lil"?)

However, feel free to visit my blog at www.musingsbygina.blogspot.com
It'll give you bunch of busy-bodies plenty to bitch about.

Toodle-loo!

Anonymous said...

Rox....oh puuuuullllease! Michelle has been a close friend for over 9 yrs....she gets my sense of humour. I just didn't want someone trashing my girlfriend and her great parenting decisions for her daughter. She gets it....Whateva!!
Lianne

kimmacd said...

To Michelle

She is more then gifted she is powerful by showing her scar with strength and courage

To sympatic/pathetic mom

I would rather have my mailbox and homepage full of scars of people who have lived through adversity then one of ignorance such as yours...

Anonymous said...

Michelle,

I have known you most of my life and I applaud you for allowing your daughter to have the opportunity for a better chance at hearing. Now when people like sympathic(although I think she meant SYMPATHETIC) your little girl can hear that stupidity and respond to it in her own way.

Good luck Michelle and keep posting all the pics you want girl. We love to see the progress.

Nadine

Anonymous said...

Well well well..Michelle I didn't realize you were such an selfish mother? Oh wait that would be somebody else! The nerve some people being so uptight to worry about a picture of Maisies' implant you need to feel sorry for someone like that, I suppose "sympathetic mom" thinks it's offensive...poor thing. You are an awesome mom and I am fascinated what it looks like and in fact after I saw this we were at Logan's swimming lessons and a little fellow walked by with the same thing and I was happy I knew what it was Bravo Michelle..you were and always will be a fantastic mommy! xo

barragal54 said...

Michelle,
Your story was truly inspirational.
I think it is wonderful what you have done for your daughter Maisie. Now she can hear all the beautiful sounds in the world.Especially the positive voices of your loyal friends.
As for symapthetic Mom..there is one in every crowd, but the good people of the world drown them out!
good luck
barragal54

Anonymous said...

My life is beginning to suffer...

Fuck you, Mommy!

Anonymous said...

Michelle,
Congratulations on being such a wonderful Mommy.
First you spent all your time helping your daughter grow into a wonderful little person with no "disabilities" and then supported her through the process to be able to hear completely.
My mother was deaf all through her childhood and wishes that they had discovered her "disability " sooner so she didn't have had so much difficulty in school. If they had discovered her inability to hear she could have used a hearing aid...would that have been wrong?
You have done a wonderful job..keep it up.
There will always be people with their own opinion...but that is all it is, an opinion. You never asked them to have the surgery...but they don't know if Maisie did or not!
Your daughters smile says it all!!

Anonymous said...

Oh for the love of God...people need to keep UNEDUCATED opinions to themselves! There's nothing worse than dumb comments...and I mean dumb in the stupidest of ways.

It's apparent that these pissy people never heard the quote..."if you have nothing good to say then don't say anything at all." Go trash someone who's beating their children, alcoholic mothers, neglectful (sp?) mothers, babies born with Aids or addicted to Meth...those mothers.

There's so much more to comment strongly on, leave a good Mom and a beautiful 7-yr old (who can now hear her name being called with love) alone!

I gotta say it again...Good God.

Lianne

Anonymous said...

And one more thing (while I'm ranting).........Maisie is gifted with or without being able to hear. Having you, Michelle & Hubby, give her the GIFT of sound, that's what makes her truly gifted.

P.S. I don't think that was truly Maisie who left you the "hate" mail....that's just a guess though!! LOL

Kyla said...

Thanks for posting this! We're looking into this as a possibility for my daughter's unilateral loss. It has recently progressed from mod/severe to profound, so her hearing aid no longer helps, but her bone conduction levels are better than her air thresholds. I appreciate the information and the photos, actually!

Michelle Symes said...

Hi Kyla,

Thank you for your kindness and understanding. Although I don't feel like we need approval from people, it is nice to hear something positive! The photos I chose to post were not aimed at offending people(although some people obviously were), they were to educate and show that it's not as bad as you can imagine. When you say to someone, "She's having a screw implanted into her skull," of course they think it will look horrendous, but as you can see, it's actually not that bad!

You may also want to read the blog I wrote about her previous to her surgery, it's under Feb/08, it's called, "You can't see deaf".

Thanks again for your comments.

~Michelle

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your story. I have read (from an industry point of view) about BAHA, but never from a consumer/consumer's parent. The idea seems wonderful to me especially when combaired to the CI. The school I was at last year seemed to lose a CI a day, and I often would be looking for them because 1/2 the kids don't like them. Thanks for sharing your experience with another option.

Anonymous said...

Your daughter is a brave little girl.

Adam said...

I am thinking about getting a baha myself. I am just trying to decide if it really will be much different than now. did your daughter have good hearing already in her good ear.

Adam